Monique Speaks!

How to Survive Ho Season

2012-01-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

Even the best women have times in their life where their judgment is less than stellar. Sometimes desire, pain, and frustration culminate in what is called Ho Season. This is a timeless tradition that women will only share with their closest friends, if any at all. Read on and see if Ho Season's in session.

Why is it called Ho Season? What might one do during Ho Season?

As indicated by the name, this is a time a woman is a Ho, or engages in Ho activities. She might sleep with several men a week, or some in a day. She might sell her body for money or drugs, where she goes from Ho to Whore. She may start sleeping with her friend's boyfriend, brother's friends, distant cousin, or somebody else extremely inappropriate. Other names/terms include wilding out, running around, dating, playing the field, doing me, having fun until I'm ready to settle down, getting mine, etc. These euphemisms are all aimed to make a woman feel better about being promiscuous because she knows if she admits it, she'll be ashamed. She doesn't want to be ashamed. She shouldn't be, if she is honest with herself. Own it. Say "Yes, I'm going thru Ho Season, but it won't last forever." Or, don't actively participate in Ho Season and let it pass. Some kids go away during the Summer...

Ho Season in full effect! Who want some?

What brings on Ho Season?

The specific Ho Seasons vary from woman to woman. For some it comes during puberty with the onslaught of new attention and influx of hormones. For other women, it happens after every breakup. It can occur during a particularly rough patch in a relationship. It might take place when the kids move to Gramma's house out of state or across town. Of course it hits hard when Jarrell joins the service or Pookie gets locked up. Again, Ho Season is determined by the woman's internal climate. Her emotional health plays a key factor in determining Ho Season's beginning and eventual end.

Do people have Ho Seasons in tandem?

Sometimes friends who are going thru relationship issues will go thru Ho Season together. This results in a lot of fun, drunken episodes posted all over Facebook to make exes think they are having a good time. Really, its just an embarrassing admission of Ho Season. Everyone knows better.

Sometimes Ho Season comes about when Mercury's in Retrograde. This is a crazy time for all.

What tools are necessary to get thru Ho Season unscathed?

There are good ways to be bad, right ways to do wrong. If you're going thru Ho Season there are precautions you can take to make it easier on yourself. Below are some tips on fighting the urges or giving in without giving away all your pride, dignity and self-respect.

Loving yourself is the key to surviving Ho Season!

Become more physically active. Take up a sport, go to the gym more often. Get out that energy the right way. And when you start to look better and feel better, you won't be so quick to give away the pums to every man who sneezes.

Meditate. Clear your mind and recenter your energy. It is also a great way to get to sleep when you're antsy in your panties.

Go to a house of worship. Churches are good for the hootin' and hollerin' and carrying on. You can even pretend to catch the holy spirit, throw a tantrum in front of everyone and flail around and it'll be looked at as normal. What a great workout and release!

Go see a therapist. Talk to a stranger about the problems you're having that are making you want to anesthetisize with sex. Therapy isn't expensive and is always worth it if you're willing to work it.

Read more. Turn your attention to learning something, empower yourself with knowledge. You can even just read for leisure and escape the reality that is boxing you into Ho Season.

Change your diet and stop eating libidio motivating foods. Cut out junk, fast food, greasy and fried, and white sugar. Eat healthier overall, but there are still healthy foods to avoid during Ho Season like avocado, celery, bananas, oysters, nuts, mangoes, peaches, strawberries, and chocolate. Well, maybe a chocolate covered strawberry here and there won't hurt ;)

Film yourself for fun!

Masturbate more. This is the safest and cleanest way to soothe the savage beast. Get in touch with the real you. Enjoy the splendor of yourself, every square inch and cherish your body. Set up your camera and take pictures or film yourself. Open a separate user account on your computer and stash all your home-maders there so no one will see them and you can enjoy watching yourself. Have a chocolate covered strawberry for dessert and it's a party! When you see how special your body really is, you won't want any creeps putting their grubby paws all over you. Embrace all of you, inside and out.
But....don't watch any strange "blue movies." The adult films make the temperature rise very high in Ho Season. Those trains will start looking amazing, you'll wish you had one of those weird robot machine drills, and you'll be wildly intrigued by the fun tricks your body can't do, eager to show off with someone. Uh-uh honey. No.
If you have to have some fleshy man-sticks shoved deep in your vaginal cavity, limit the amount of men you are interacting with to just one. He doesn't have to be "your man" because he's the only one you're sleeping with. Don't spread yourself too thin. Well, don't spread your legs so wide. Either way, be prudent in your non prudish behavior.
Again, if you've decided you need to have hot sausage in your oven, avoid married men. The biggest problem with Ho Season is the unclear end, like Indian Summer. This is the time when Hos in Ho Season don't even realize it's over and start longing for a relationship, looking to the fellow they are spending the best time with. If it's someone's husband, you have a new problem on your hand.
And, if you need to feel thick, hard, curved penis in your orifice and deep in your esophagus, always, always, always use protection. Because all they really wanna do is give you AIDS and Babies.

Above all, use Ho Season as a catalyst for getting to know yourself better. Evaluate why you are sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, or just plain horny. There are always underlying reasons for Ho Season. Get to the bottom of wanting to be bottoms up and you'll find what is missing in your cup.

There is no passing judgment on Ho Season. It is perfectly understandable. But just as most places experience Summer only 25% of the year, do not live like you're in Miami and enjoy an all year Season of Ho-ness.

What are your thoughts? How did you get thru your Ho Season? Share this with a friend who has been spending too much time vacationing in her Ho Season.

Ladies: The Truth About Why You're Single

2012-01-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

You will not get the man of your dreams until you stop being a nightmare.

Let’s face it, everything you think you know about men is wrong. If it were right, you’d be with someone awesome. But you’re not. You’re single and confused because you don’t know who wouldn’t want “all of this.” Instead of citing the erroneous statistics of how many no-good Black men there are, let’s focus on you and what you’re doing all wrong. All the game playing and tantrums are outdated and out of style. There are boys who enjoy the histrionics, but these aren’t the men you want to be with.
To be the right lady for the right gentleman, there are really only a few things that are important. These tips will help you in more ways than "man-trapping" so print and post on your fridge.

Take care of home

Housekeeping

No man wants to keep his shoes on when he comes to your house because he’s scared of what he might step in or the critters that may run underfoot. The laundry basket of dirty clothes, the juice stained carpet, the overflowing ashtrays, the layer of dust on the entertainment center, the bras and panties hanging all over the bathroom are all Man-Deterrents. He also shouldn’t be greeted by your dirty pads, douche bottles, used razors and a sink full of Fashion Fair foundation. Yuck times ten.
Cooking

Your fridge and pantry should be well-stocked with a variety of fresh food and ingredients to make a full meal. You think he wants to eat out every night? That should be an occasional treat, not a regular occurrence because you’re too damn lazy to prepare a meal. (If you need tips on how to make time to cook, check out this blog.) Some men will not eat from a woman they don’t know because they think a woman might “put something” in their food, or because they’re unsure of how she cooks and don’t want to endure the poker face and sour stomach. Let that be his choice to make, but rest assured if you keep a clean house and food smells good, he will come around.

Maintain Your Appearance

Hygiene

Men are not as particular about how a woman looks as they are about how clean she is. It is common knowledge with men that the "hot girls" are the ones with the worst hygiene and housekeeping skills. They prefer a woman who bathes regularly, takes good care of her body and skin, and hair.

Hair care is important. If you're a natural girl, don't use that as an excuse to forgo all hair care. Stop looking like you came out of the jungle, talking about you "back to Africa." They use combs and groom properly in Africa, y'know. If you wear weaves, be sure they are clean. Well, as clean as weaves can be. Sewn in or glued in packs of other people's hair develop the yuck factor quickly.

Nice and neat

A man notices a woman who irons her clothes, cleans her shoes, dry cleans her suits, wipes her handbags, etc. It is a turn off for a man to see a woman spray dirty clothes with perfume and iron dirt in the creases. If your skirt has a stain, get it out before wearing it. If there are tears, grab your sewing kit--which you should definitely own!--and repair it. If buttons are falling off, fix it. Stop being sloppy and slovenly.

Slutitude

No gentleman wants a tramp to walk beside. That tight skirt and low-cut blouse got his attention initially, but if he cares about you at all, he doesn’t want his lady looking like she’s on the stroll. Maybe your face is busted, so you load on the makeup and squeeze your overthick body into those jeans to compensate. Please understand you're not a magician. Especially if you’re a scallywag for real and let dude beat, he’s gonna see the real you after you sweat off that makeup and peel off those yeast-infection inducing clothes. Everything is in moderation, and a good man enjoys a woman who looks good without going overboard to make up for obvious self-esteem issues.

Do you have anything else to offer, or is that fat ass on front street because your personality is missing a lot of appeal? You can nab a fish with sparkly lures, but they soon realize the bait is indigestible. He probably didn’t think you had any substance when you were shaking that sloppy ass all over town, but he might have been hopeful for more if the sex was good and he could tolerate your voice for a particular amount of time.

Have a Variety of Interests and Activities

Are men your only interest? Do you just go to work waiting for opportunities to call and check in on your intendeds? Do you sit around weekends waiting for an invitation for something little more than sex? Do you only gossip on the phone with your loser ass friends or watch VH1’s sick reality shows as your sole means of entertainment? Are your favorite websites MediaTakeOut, Bossip, and NecoleBitchie? Do you go to the club every weekend trying to land a man in the dark, poorly-lit space, plied with booze? These aren’t women that a man wants to take seriously. Sure, he may stab it a few times, but he’ll never take you home to put on the mantle. You’re no trophy. You’re just a desperate ass loser and he smells it on you like cheap perfume.

Open your mind up to a variety of options that will improve your life in many ways. Meditate. Join a book club. Go to museum exhibits. Go hard on starting and maintaining your business. Volunteer at your house of worship. Coordinate charity events. Take a cooking class. Make yourself useful to the world and you’ll be infinitely more useful and appreciated by a good gentleman.

Put Your Children First

If you already have children and you push them aside for Tom's dick and Harry's, you will be left with bitter children and a sore hole. A gentleman does NOT want a woman who will throw their children away at the first sign of a possible relationship. He will respect and appreciate a woman who is busy going to Alisha's gym meet and Brian's chess match. If you cancel these events to grab a bite and a quick screw in a motel, you've already lost your chance with him.

Don't introduce your children to every man you meet; make him know that there are limits and you won't do that until you're comfortable. He'll respect your boundaries and take you seriously. This is also best for your children. No little girl or boy should see Mom and the revolving door of men. Don't sacrifice their respect for some strange man who might not be worth anything to you. And if he's worth ANYTHING, he will be accepting of your space.

Respect Him and Respect Yourself

How do you treat this gentleman? Are you warm and affectionate? Are you kind in your speech? Are your words supportive, inspiring, and encouraging without being pedantic, patronizing, and condescending? Are you always testing his manhood? Do you pick fights because it gets you hot to see him angry? Do you want him choking you outside of the bedroom...? When a man can't get peace with his woman, he will seek it elsewhere. If he sees that from the jump, he's not sticking around for more.
Is everything he says met with disagreement? When he makes suggestions for your life, do you say “You’re not my Daddy!” or “You can’t tell me what to do!”? Do you call your other loser ass friends and say “Girl, he’s tryna control me!” Let’s say your gentleman is interested in being serious about you and suggests you stop dressing like a prostitute. Do you think he’s jealous and controlling or do you take heed to his advice? It is entirely possible he has started to respect you and wants others to do the same. And most importantly, he wants you to respect yourself. Only garbage men take out the trash; be the nice lady that a man will pick flowers for.
If you respect him and his influence in your life, you will be more open to accepting his recommendations and suggestions. When you think he's useless, he recognizes that you feel that way and makes you of little value as well. Don't waste his time or yours pretending you respect him. If he actually cares about you, you could damage a good man that quality women could have taken better care of.

If you want Mr. Right, you have to be Ms. Right first.

Overall, if you want to run around and sleep with random men until you’re ready to settle down with the man of your dreams, do you. And them. And their friends. Or whatever it is that you like to do, you ol’ freak. But if you’re crying nightly about why you don’t have a nice gentleman to call your own, start working on yourself and he will come. And get off the internet. Meet people out and about at places that don’t involve loud music and alcohol. Above all, be friendly and approachable. If you can't knock the chip off your shoulder, at least sand it down a little. Stop being so angry and defensive. Be armed with the right tools and you'll be worth every second of your suitor's time.

What are you thoughts? Please comment below.

Don't Get Ready, Be Ready!

2012-01-16T09:37:00.003-05:00

“Sometimes we have the dream but we are not ourselves ready for the dream. We have to grow to meet it.” ~ Louis L’Amour

Growing up, I wanted to rule the world. Truth be told, I still do, but this is a dream I’ve always been aware would not come to fruition until I was much older, with much more life experience and considerable world understanding. I’ve been mentally composing the MoMo Manifesto with each life event, each grand lesson while allowing the smallest details to provide the footnotes. Yes, this is a dream that will take a lifetime.

What about other smaller, less grandiose dreams? I tried the starving artist thing in 2008 and it was met with lackluster results. I used to see that as the worst decision I ever made, and I consider myself an extremely cautious, prudent decision maker, so the blow was devastating to my ego. How do you reconcile that for all the emotion and passion, it just might not be the time?

It is good to love to plan, but it is best to plan with love.

It has been said that success is when preparation meets opportunity. If this is so, we must be prepared and more prepared, and super prepared at all times in order to meet our goals. Obviously, this isn’t realistic, but how are you preparing for your future? What steps are you taking to lay the foundation upon which to build your dreams? Have you started to build on paper or are you still having conversations during commercial breaks of Love and Hip Hop?

Check the link for the rest of the article at Soul Kisses TV: Don't Get Ready, Be Ready For Your Miracle! Encourage the Universe to Work For You! It asks questions to help you get and stay focused on your goals. Subscribe and check out other motivational and inspirational articles.

Opening Up to Open Relationships

2012-01-03T11:01:00.121-05:00

Why is Marriage Such a Big Deal?

While marriage can be a beautiful state for some, the concept of ownership does not work for most. A woman can have a man who loves her unconditionally and she will still not be satisfied until he makes the declaration in front of her family and friends that yes, she IS worth being loved. She sees this silly celebration as a defining moment, caring more about the wedding than working on the relationship. When a woman already knows her man loves her and they are getting along, she sees no need to rock the boat for a rock.
When women claim it's because "God says so", does He want her to simply marry, or to be happy in an honest, loving, truthful union? Does her man share her religious views? If not, then she'd better find someone equally yoked and stop wasting both of their lives together.
Many women say they need to "know where we're going" as if marriage determines that. Is marriage the beginning of a beautiful life together, or the end of the pretending, the end of wondering if he's actually going to realize that she isn't as great as the facade she wears daily? If things are going smoothly, instead of enjoying each moment, they are looking for a touchdown on a basketball court; seeking the wrong outcome for the game. If there is trouble in the relationship, they view marriage as a great panacea, but it doesn't work like that.
It's common to see people who have been together for many years without marriage end up divorcing when they do decide to tie the knot because they suddenly feel trapped. People are not animals for cages and many women feel a need to "own" their man, tying the knot around his neck, the noose that will slowly suffocate him. The wedding ring is the leash that says "You're mine, so I have rights to every part of your life," and most are rightfully uninterested in that. Many men, and now some progressive women are recognizing and acknowledging that perhaps this institution of marriage has us institutionalized, going mad in the asylum of monogamy, crazy in the house of undying commitment, insane in the prison of love’s perpetuity. A closer examination into our current construct will open the mind to possibilities better suited to our social situations such as what are called “open relationships.”

Open Relationships Are Already Here

Open relationships are not based in sex, but based in truth, honesty, and mutual respect. Jealousy and insecurity result from misunderstanding and deception. Removing the uncertainty and doubt creates a healthier environment for everyone. The freedom in being open to see other people may make some stay closer together. The “friends with benefits” paradigm is the most common type of open relationship and starts with good intentions, but often ends in hurt feelings when someone misunderstands the situation, seeks more than was initially agreed upon, or one party recognizes that the other will be hurt with the truth and starts lying. Multi-partnered relationships are already common in the Black community. We’re familiar with the terms side piece, side chick, matey, gyal pon de side, amongst others. The wife is usually Wifey or Main. Let's not pretend that these situations are anomalies and find ways to make them work best for those involved.

Here are a few examples of functioning open relationships:

Scenario #1

Latrell and Kevin are in a long-distance relationship. She’s away at school; he’s got the dream job. She’s not ready to move yet. They visit each other often and speak daily about everything that’s going on, including dates. Kevin has a lady friend he’s seeing more regularly and Latrell has two gentlemen who enjoy her company. Both are honest with the people they are seeing as well as with each other. They love each other enough not to keep secrets, not to deny the other an opportunity to enjoy the company of the opposite sex. They harbor no animosity for “making me wait” or feelings of guilt resulting from deception. When it is time to come together, they are stronger knowing there were no secrets, continuing in the way of honesty and respect.

Scenario #2

Tony and Indira have been together five years and find that sex and their dog are the most they have in common. They don’t want to give up either, so they continue to live together as roommates and date other people. Removing the tie of a conventional relationship allows them to grow closer, appreciating other qualities in eachother, and makes a happier home for Rocky the Rottweiler.

These are simple versions of an open relationship, but there are more complex ones that work for the parties involved:

Scenario 3:
LaToya, a young college girl with a full load of classes, can’t find a part-time job in this economy, and she meets Hakim who offers her a good time and assistance with her car insurance and cell phone bill. Hakim’s wifey Kerry-Ann works and takes care of their two kids. She is seldom sexually aroused by Hakim these days. She is annoyed with his constant neediness and they haven’t found as much in common as they used to when they were young. They don’t argue, they just have grown apart, but he is a good father to his children. She is career driven, but also enjoys being a mother. Being a full-time wife seems more a burden than a benefit in her life. She would rather take vacations with her friends than him.
Hakim introduces Kerry-Ann to LaToya and they get along well. (A man often finds another woman who embodies the qualities and traits he enjoys in his Main.) Now, when Hakim is ready for some loving, LaToya is available, freeing up Kerry-Ann’s evenings for time with the kids, gossiping with her friends, or Love and HipHop. When one of the kids are sick, LaToya can pick them up from school and sit with them between classes or until Kerry-Ann gets off of work. LaToya can come grab a home cooked meal at the house and leave for the evening with Hakim. This relationship can carry on until LaToya or Hakim tire of eachother. Hakim and Kerry-Ann get along better when her need to be left alone and his need for companionship are met.

Scenario 4:

Darius and his son’s mother Monica do not want to be in a relationship any longer. He loves their son Malik but doesn’t make enough money to support his household and hers separately. He is very handy and makes a decent living doing odd jobs. Monica works a menial job but wants to be an at-home mom; certainly she cannot afford that. Shirlene and Darius have been seeing eachother, and she is financially stable, but not interested in having any children. She adores Malik and is happy to have him apart of her life.

Darius, Shirlene, Monica, and Malik move into a house together. Monica takes care of Malik and has no physical relationship with Darius. Shirlene and Darius are intimate and enjoy a full house with his son’s mother. Shirlene enjoys taking care of her child full time while keeping his father in his daily life and having the support of another woman when she gets frustrated. Monica gets to enjoy a child who is not hers without stepping on toes. Family meals together are happy and comfortable as everyone gets along, creating a safe and stable situation for Malik.

These are only a few possible scenarios where an open and honest relationship lays the foundation for better communication and more fair treatment. It may be hard for many to swallow as these don’t conform to the ideal standard presented by society and pop culture. We are trained to be monogamous while living polygamous lifestyles though always in secret. When the truth comes out, feelings are hurt, people feel slighted, and relationships end that could have otherwise been worked out.
The major hurdle many must overcome is the "shame" in not partaking in a conventional, albeit unsuccessful, relationship. The only people who have to concern themselves with the details and parameters of a relationship are those involved. What functions for some is dysfunction for another. The concept of having an open relationship where all parties are honest is novel, and yet something everyone seeks. Perhaps creating a set of circumstances that allows for truth and openness will provide the quality of relationships that is so commonly desired. Just as marriage is not for everyone, neither are open relationships. My only advice is to explore the possibilities and see what works for you and your partner. An open conversation with love, understanding and consideration is the first step.

Music Year in Review: Monique's Faves

2011-12-27T11:30:00.001-05:00

As 2011 comes to an end, I want to reflect on my favorite albums of the year, the soundtracks of my life for this year, the songs that will remind me of what I’ve endured, over what I have triumphed, where my mind was at heading into my thirties, why I made my transition back to Brooklyn. If you've been following me on twitter this year (@momowilly), you'll have noticed that I often mention the music I'm enjoying at the time, and three people come up frequently, Fonzworth Bentley, Amanda Seales, and Jean Grae. There is a common thread in the fiber of the wonderful artists I’m highlighting: Individuality. These three are unique in voice, perspective and style. They don’t conform to the rules of hiphop, instead making their marks with their defiance of the status quo. These are the mavericks, the misfits, the avant-garde that are just close enough to the mainstream to put their toes in and yank their foot out of the water when they're ready. I’m pleased to have an opportunity to share my reasons for enjoying the music they provided me this year.

Oh, and it’s free. Yes. The music was free. Well, one offers a pay option, but I got it for free. We’ll get into that later. Enjoy!

Fonzworth Bentley’s C.O.L.O.U.R.S. (EP)

Fonzworth Bentley first caught my ear years ago on Myspace when I heard “Since I was 9.” I thought it was a great introduction to the potential of a super dapper gent who was much more than Diddy’s umbrella holder. There were murmurs of him being signed to GOOD music, to which I cheered because Kanye has a way to bring the best out of artists. That eventually fell through but Bentley knew he wanted to put out his music, so he blessed us with the work C.O.L.O.U.R.S which includes songs we’d heard before like “Everybody” featuring Kanye and Andre 3000 plus some awesome newness. “Runaway” was my wake up alarm for months because it got me moving!

At the time this came out, I was producing and hosting a TV show entitled The Show that focused on the new, the now, and the necessary of South Florida, so I was immersed in the fashion culture of Ft. Lauderdale and Miami and feeling pretty darn fresh, sexy and sophisticated. Bentley’s mixtape kept me upbeat and positive with his motivational lyrics and inspiring stories. His sense of humor runs through the tracks as he never really takes himself too seriously. He’s the best at staying in his lane, always being a gentleman and never using profanity or derogatory terms to refer to women. This isn’t an album for the masses, but makes a great case for urban contemporary hiphop. And his flow is tighter than Boosie. Truly.

Bentley’s beats are slamming, an album of instrumentals woulda been nice. I’m not super familiar with popular music, but I heard some of these beats are recycled. He definitely chose the right beats to ride and does so with ease. His southern drawl is warm and often quite sumptuous in various unexpected places throughout the album. He makes a lady giggle and smile, reach for the wine and cheese, and enjoy a great evening under the moon.

Get the Music: Head to his official website to stream the whole album for a free listen. http://www.therealmrbentley.com

Cost: Select songs are available FREE with email request, the rest are on iTunes. I actually downloaded the whole thing for free from another site. I won't say where. If I had an iPod, I woulda paid for the songs, so you should.

Upcoming: I don’t know what he’s doing. But I hope he’s gonna come out with some new music, his music, exactly how he wants it to sound and never compromise. He is truly a delight.

Follow: @cooloutrageous

Amanda Diva’s Madame Monochrome (EP)

Before she became Amanda Seales a few months back (another 30th bday inspired name change!), she released Madame Monochrome as Amanda Diva, a name familiar with anyone who watches VH1’s pop culture shows. I’ve been following her on twitter for some time, and when I saw she had a new album, I was interested in hearing it. I checked it out one Saturday at work and thought it was a little mellow for my taste, wishing I had a glass of wine to enjoy with it. I gave it another chance a few days later, putting it on my Blackberry and playing it in the whip. Woah! This was my new favorite album. Amanda’s voice is like chardonnay with sand, full bodied and gritty. It’s so unique and interesting, engaging and distinct. The writing quality is solid, covering topics like teen mothers ("Babies") and Black men lost ("Manchild") as well as love and life. Her delivery and soulfulness contribute to the full experience. The production feels organic; it doesn’t sound as if her homies emailed some beats and she wrote to ‘em on the Q train with her Beats by Dre headphones. Instead her voice weaves in between the music with confidence and surety.

Speaking of, the artist formerly known as Diva can come off slightly arrogant, a little cocky, but having personally dealt with this misconception, I smile at the bars and nod in amusement. She IS as talented as she says she is, there's no denying it. In an era where there are more fly by night than fly to heights acts, she is a rare breed. She sings and raps—in the poet turned rapper vein—and she’s funny and relatable. This is the EP I put on when I’m working on something that matters, creatively or business wise. She has a very “homegirl” feel, a no-nonsense friend who is encouraging and supportive. “Little Things (Remix)” was the fave for awhile as her words got me through a trying time relationship-wise where I had to recognize that if I wanted to continue enjoying the big things that were worth it, I'd have to start accepting the annoying small things. It’s still in rotation.

For an artist of her many talents, one might expect the album to feel disjointed or all over the place. However unlike a popular male rapper/vocalist, Amanda’s balance is endearing as she seamlessly eases into both like a pinch hitter. She’s fluid yet controlled, never manic or contrived on these joints. There's great beauty in her singing background to her own rhymes.

Get the Music: Download the Free EP at her official website, http://www.amandaseales.com

Cost: FREE

Upcoming: She is working on her long-awaited album Technicolor Lover as well as an amazing and timely one woman play entitled Death of the Diva. She's a great actress and comedian in addition to visual artist (painter) and DJ. I continue to be inspired by her tenacity and persistence. She is definitely the definition of Renaissance Woman.

Follow: @amandaseales

Jean Grae’s Cookies or Comas Mixtape

hosted by DJ Drama

What can I say about Jean Grae that hasn’t already been said? She’s definitely Top 5 MC of all time, not female. Trust, she will lyrically body your favorite rapper especially these soft as Charmin, unicorn-hugging-in-the-forest types out right now. Her flows vary, her vocabularly’s sick, and she’s an MC clearly of crazy high intelligence but never seems to be showing off. Though she speaks with amazing clarity and diction, her tracks are constant rewinds, a great game of "what did she just say?" It’s a delight when you’re privy to a reference as you recognize the depth of her sometimes triple entendre. It makes you listen harder because you want to get all the jokes, understand all the insiders, and also thank Rap Genius for making it make just a little more sense.

This mixtape came out when I was very frustrated about many things in my life and the whole CD is pretty angry. I was often Ragey McKillsome and Jean's music got me to express the frustration and move forward in a healthy manner. "Killing 'Em" was on repeat the entire rides to and from work many days.

Jean Grae’s unfairly been labeled a “backpack” and “conscious” rapper when she is so far left of those silly boxes with all the murder-murder kill-kill talk on here. She’s definitely more gangsta than wanksta, yet more pranksta than anything else. She has an amazing dry wit, choke on your spit dry. Lyrically, she can’t be stopped. Through all the rappity-rap slaying, Jeannie's vulnerability shines brightest on songs like "Blame Game" about an unhappy relationship and "You don't like it" where she addresses her underground status and desire to be a great commercial success.

Honestly, I couldn’t tell you a thing about the production value because Jeannie is always the star of the show. The guest appearances are all top notch, but she bests everyone of them including heavyweights like Talib Kweli, Styles P, Pharaohe Monch and Royce da 5’9. My ten year-old daughter loves the mixtape so much, she listens while doing her homework, and she’s never been more focused.

Jeannie sometimes comes across like she needs a hug, but that you’ll have to check her hands for itching powder because she’s a mean, abrasive, unpredictable trickster. An almost unapproachable approachability, like you wanna say something so she can dis you. I’m certain these type of S&M relationships are common in her life. Using music as her outlet for the vitriole, she would have to be super sweet in real life to be so acrid on a record. A trip through Jean Grae’s mind is like no trip of acid imaginable, and we are fortunate to get lifted on every word.

Get the Music: Head to her official website, http://www.jeangrae.com to download the whole thing. The website doesn't have anything else but that, so there are no distractions.

Cost: FREE

Upcoming: She has a show called Life of Jeannie coming out where we get to experience another facet of Ms. Grae's functional schizophrenia. Her highly anticipated album Cake or Death is coming soon, but not soon enough. #shit Her writing acumen, imagination, and wit definitely deserve a multi-dimensional platform.

Follow: @jeangreasy

Special Bonus:

Jean Grae and Mela Machinko just released the awesomest Christmas album of all time as the duo Hellpit Faeries. Download the FREE EP Jingle Fuckin' Bells. It is everything a holiday album should be. And check out the video for "The Most Fucking Wonderful Time". Jean is doing exactly what we've been waiting for from her and she doesn't disappoint. She and Mela are having a blast. My daughter is playing it 24-7. This will always signify my final return to Brooklyn. Thanks ladies for the best soundtrack to the season.
Follow: @melamachinko @hellpitfaeries

The Best Gifts Are Not For Sale: How to Handle the Holidays

2011-12-22T21:34:00.001-05:00

The holiday season is supposed to be a joyous time, but we know it is the time of year people find themselves more depressed than ever. People are having financial and personal problems yet still trying to keep up with the Joneses. Many of us feel we can’t enjoy life without having “that one thing.” For some, that one thing is a job. For others it’s a perfect relationship, or real and genuine love. Still others are looking for our own business, artistry, or investment to take off. We may always have life expectations but the degree of dissatisfaction heightens at this time of year.

Holidays can offer much pain, financial burdens and personal strain

Those of us who recognize the origins of the holiday can deliver long-winded speeches on Jesus’ true birthday and season (if indeed there was such a person), offer background on Saturnalia and Nimrod, or mention the correlation between Black Friday and the year’s last chance for big businesses to bring their books into the Black. Yes, those of us who consider ourselves “progressive” can disrupt many a party with these erudite emissions, making the case of holidays being meaningless.

But, is it?

Check the link for the rest of the article at Soul Kisses TV! The Best Gifts Are Not For Sale: How to Handle the Holidays It includes several creative gift ideas for the friend with the entrepreneurial spirit. Subscribe and check out other motivational and inspirational articles.

Book Review: Who's Afraid of Post-Blackness?

2011-12-07T15:28:00.001-05:00

Author, Journalist, Media personality Toure's latest book,

Who's Afraid of Post-Blackness? is available at amazon.com

Book Review: Who's Afraid of Post-Blackness? by Toure'

Dr. Carter G Woodson’s The Mis-education of the Negro, Dr. Frances Cress Welsing’s The Isis Papers, and Elijah Muhammad’s Message to the Black Man in America are standards in African American studies. I've read these books and came to realize and recognize the plight of the Black man and woman in America. I learned that white supremacy/racism is as real as leftover lasagna. Unfortunately, reading these books did not give me a better understanding of myself because they do not describe my experience. These books provide insight into someone else’s Blackness and have, in various ways, made me feel far removed from what is deemed a genuine and authentic Black experience. However, Toure’s Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? articulates my heart’s understanding, a reflection of my own journey, my own walk in the magical forest of Blackness.

Post-Blackness suggests that we are in an era where, if there are 40 million Blacks, there are 40 million ways to be Black. Toure’ says “Post-Black is not a box, it’s an unbox. It opens the door to everything. It’s open-ended and open-source and endlessly customizable.” Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? delves into this theme, but is not littered with annoying factoids and shady statistics. It instead is a collection of pensive prompts and provocative posits that will inspire intense conversation. Toure's tome becomes the catalyst for our own catharsis, the mirror with which to examine our personal role in Blackness. He weaves together indisputable facts with his own personal anecdotes as well as those of 105 revered Black thinkers and professionals. Many of the personal accounts brought me to tears as we see how far we are from Post-Racial and how the current Post-Blackness is a harbinger to such a time. Jesse Jackson, in particular, contributed powerful musings.

A highlight of the book is “Chapter Three: The Rise and Fall of a Post-Black King” where Toure’ intellectualizes “Chappelle’s Show.” It’s truly a delight to read his analysis on the well-loved and familiar segments in such detail as it relates to Post-Blackness and offers a thorough examination into the work of one of the most brilliant philosophers of our time.

Though I do not consider myself as an Obama fan, the chapter “How to Build More Baracks” was spot on in its characterization of the man who became the first Black President of the United States. Without subscribing to the Illuminati/Boule’ or One World Order theories, Toure’ offers some of the more obvious reasons for Obama’s rise to the highest seat of the land while detailing the nuances of Obama’s movements that are similar to those of other high powered Blacks before him. This section is a necessary read for all school teachers and parents in helping to mold Black children into world leaders.

“We are Quintessential Americans” felt a little heavy on jingoism, so I was reluctant in conceding that yes, we are. These passages describe quite a love-hate relationship while making no excuses for racism, instead empathizing and wiping away tears with each empowering word. I completed it with a better understanding of how we can say something like “I’m from Brooklyn, but I’m not American.” It’s been said that a cat born in the oven is not muffins, but is a kitten, yet those of us groomed in America cannot separate our Black consciousness from our environment as if we’re raised in the vacuum.

Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? is an excellent guidebook in learning how to effectively toe the line between the conventional Pro-Black militancy and current, more progressive and less limiting Blackness, i.e. Post-Blackness. Toure almost betrays the “tokens,” exposing the tricks of the trade employed by the easily assimilating Blacks, the “browning sauce Blacks” who can fit in every dish injecting flavor without changing the environment’s composition. This is an important read for detractors as the uber-Black will want to pick apart the notion of post-Blackness with the veracity of vultures on hyena. Toure' is more than ready for their attacks.

But Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? best serves those like me who have had to justify, explain, reason, or excuse our behavior to the Blackness Police time and again. It’s of great comfort to the “Oreos,” particularly as Toure' and his contributing sources explore the infamous “talking white” phenomenon plaguing our community with such clarity and honesty that those who have used this reference will be embarrassed at the notion. This book serves as commiseration for those of us who were post-Black before there was a Black President. Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness? puts my open-minded, highly confident take-over-the-world ideals of childhood into perspective, before being jaded by the "discovery" of my Blackness. This book was written for me. Maybe you can relate. If not, pick up a copy to better understand why you don't.

Change Begins Within by Deciding What You Cannot Live Without

2011-11-09T13:34:00.000-05:00

When you reach a certain age, you start looking at the time you feel you’ve wasted and what exactly you may or may not have accomplished. When I turned thirty a few months ago, I came to realize that I was not doing what was necessary to reach the specific goals I have in mind. It was not time for the pity party, but time to evaluate what needed to be done to get where I needed to be.

Sharing these thoughts with loved ones can be problematic. Those around may genuinely care and want the best for you, but they can be more resistant to change than you are. Do not allow their apprehension to deter you. It’s also important not to label them as “haters,” a term ubiquitous in our culture to dismiss those who may have our best interest at heart but may be unable to see our vision. Some don’t want the responsibility of your possible failure. Others will tell you repeatedly how much they believe in you but don’t know exactly how or what that means for them. And that’s ok. Do not let their hesitance and skepticism dissuade you from taking charge of your life, being in control of following your dreams.

Your diet effects your sleeping dreams, but what you ingest mentally effects your waking dreams! Keep the sour, salty and bitter folk away to avoid heartburn!

I was living in sunny South Florida, a beautiful place with great beaches, sexy clubs, fine dining, and delightful open roads with which to access them. I had a comfortable apartment in a nice neighborhood and a day job I enjoyed more often than not. I was working on a television show to air locally set to highlight the beauty of Miami and Ft. Lauderdale featuring the new, the now and the necessary. And I was miserable.

Read the rest of my first contribution to Soul Kisses TV's website, Change Begins Within by Deciding What You Cannot Live Without. Please support and leave comments. Thanks!

What's In a Name?

2011-10-22T19:22:00.001-04:00

momowilly the author, but at work I
served notices as Monique A. Williams '05

"They say I changed my name.

I say, it's always been the same

Unmoved by the silly game

Brought on by the Willy name..."

Every artist enters the uber-annoying Name Change Stage. Some do it more than a few times. They offer all these reasons about their personal metamorphosis, their evolution, their alter ego taking over, blah, blah, blah. And they make everyone call them by this name with so much excitement and hysteria. Obviously, I think it's corny.

I was momowilly, then MoMo Willy, for a few years. Truth be told, I've been MoMo Willy since I was a wee one, the name given to me by my older brother when we were quite young. I used this name professionally and it was a lot of fun. People always snickered when they heard it, it's a name that arouses curiosity. It was a name people remembered easily. And, yes, I love it when the boys call me Willy.

The insane MoMo Willy, '07

Unfortunately, what it did not inspire was respect for my craft, appreciation for my work. Maybe you can relate. Those who say they abandon their slave names feel liberated in not being recognized by the name of their oppressor. They break the shackles they understand to bind them to a life they no longer lead, a submission from which they have risen above. I, too, feel that MoMo Willy oppressed me, but never maliciously.

A cartoon character? '08

I'm not a carnival act, and while I'm a humorist, I'm not a comedian. And if I were a comedian, I'm not a smash-stuff-on-stage-and-eat-weird-stuff comedian. I'm an intellect, a thoughtful and sensitive soul with ideas bigger than my hair, concepts I'm eager to develop with the fervor of rabbits in Springtime. These projects are hilarious in an embarrassing "Wow, that's the truth," kinda way. And, yes, I want to make some bread with these vehicles. Sadly, MoMo Willy has been getting crumbs in this rat race. Just being honest...as usual.

The pensive intellect...with the clown name. '10

I've spent the past few years being distracted by what OTHERS have thought I was best suited for, pushing back the projects that matter most to me, tabling ideas that need to be at the front door. When you're multi-talented, people love to exploit those facets they deem the most profitable. Well, all of them muggs was wrong. So, Monique A. Williams is going back to doing what she loves most: writing. And damn it if I don't need the practice. I couldn't tell you WTF I've been doing, but it hasn't been anything that truly represents the whole of me, always factions and fractions. I have projects sitting on my laptop, in the WIP folder, that mean much more to me than a TV show, more than a radio show, more than a lifestyle blog, more than an album. And they need my attention. I don't regret ANYTHING I've done professionally, just the manner in which it was done. And the humble bee that I am has been misunderstood under the cloak of this maniac known as MoMo Willy. Maybe you see it differently, of course I'm on the inside looking out...

Monique A. Williams enjoys life '11

So, the purported egomaniac known as MoMo Willy is in a coma. She's not dead, she's a part of me that I love and enjoy, but she's not my entire being. And I'm not separating myself from that with any ill feelings. You can call me MoMo, Mo, Ms. Willy all you like, just know that I'll be introducing myself as Monique A. Williams. I'm happy to work with good people, delighted with the role of ingenue, pleased with the marvels of the universe, eager to learn and share without all the answers. And that's what it is.

9/11---a poem

2011-09-11T08:44:00.001-04:00

So they say today's the commemoration of 9/11

Not a celebration, an observation of those who went to heaven

To avoid stressing, I'm careful to only watch in passing

Can't let it get me down, on the floor crumbled like trash an'

It's hard to fathom a situation so grim in modern day

It happened in New York, but could occur in FLA

Feels like we're living in hell, America the Beautiful

So many died, but that day, you know where Bush duty fell?

It's a tireless debate, this back and forth, who's to blame

Over gas, policies, jealousy, real-life Contra, a big game

I could spout my theories just like another would

But it's meaningless, don't you think a Mother could?

The pain we endure watching countless footage on the tragedy

Like knives stabbing through us for this catastrophic calamity

It's a malady, this sickness to brush it under the rug in guilt

But it's hard when they said that was the strongest building built

Makes me selfishly wonder about the safety of me and mine

Pray to God the day don't come we trapped, waiting in line

Thoughts race through my mind, the FD was brave and strong

Courage was evident, even when things went wrong

Walkie-talkies busted, police instructions not followed

Those who listened to them, it was dirt they swallowed

Told to run back to they desks, the safest place to be

But those who ain't listen ended up rushing to safety

So it seems anarchy is the best way for us in these attacks

I'm hoping that's merely conjecture and not facts

Who wants to believe in times of terror you can't trust the suits

If they don't have a clue, what really are we supposed to do?

I guess we just gotta live, keep it moving every day

Live life to the fullest, until even the darkest day

My Grampa worked in the North tower before that day

For some reason, he was very late for work that day

Hearing the ominous tone in voices speaking of that day

It's scary to even say the numbers representing that day

It's 911, emergency, the 11th of September

The pain stings, no newscast or special is needed for us to remember…

Don't forget to pick up your copy of "The momowilly Experience: A portfolio of potent poetry" Available NOW on amazon and momowilly's official website, www.itsmomowilly.com

In his pocket #poetry

2011-08-27T21:05:00.000-04:00

In his pocket

He thought he had her in pocket
Til he pulled out lint
She was his wallet
Holding all the important
Aspects of his life
Everything that mattered
His identification
His business cards
Every contact on matchstick
Even photos
But no cash
He put his dollars
Somewhere else
While his wallet was
Worn and exhausted
From folds and manhandling
Pulled out
Shoved in...

Didn't realize there were a lotta
Thieves out here
Ready to snatch her straight out
The predators
They see his wallet
Peeking out
They know the value
So they carefully
Surreptitiously
Lift, lift, lift
Without him seeing
Until it's in their hands
She's in their hands
She is no longer in his pocket
She never got outta pocket
It was he who lost her
He should've been wearing a chain...

Copyright © 2009 Monique Williams

The Rainbow Connection

2011-08-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

It's been raining like crazy this summer. I live in South Florida these days so that's pretty normal.

This summer, however, I have taken to looking at the sky more. I find that though I'm a dreamer, I seldom look up, always looking forward. Someone special brought my attention to the formation of the clouds, something I have long regarded as "childish" the silly activity of naming the shapes seen in the clouds. Yet, now, it seems no less silly than the naming of the constellations, something else I've had little interest in examining.

I saw a rainbow this morning. I see them in passing and usually care very little. This morning I stopped at the light til someone honked, examining this beautiful wonder. It seemed magical on a greater level than ever. The ray of colors awe-inspiring and joyous, holding so much promise in the beauty following the storms.

When do we stop looking forward and look up, look to the heights instead of the future? Look to the possibility of all that is great above us instead of what is before us? When do we become so rapt in all that is here instead of all that is around and beyond? How often are we looking up for thanks instead of down in dismay? Are we all that selfish, or is it just me...?

Flirty 30 is Less Fighty Flighty

2011-07-02T15:45:00.000-04:00

I just turned 30 on Wednesday, June 29, 2011. Of course, as usual, I pondered on how my life has changed in the year(s). This year, however, I pondered with less frustration and more optimism, less criticism and more empathy.

Historically, I am neurotic, high-strung, obsessive, dramatic, hysterical, manic, aggressive and good ol' fashioned crazy. For the most part, I enjoy those aspects of my personality, viewing them as offshoots of passion, intensity, focus, drive, and ambition. However, I am learning that not everything requires the same level of intensity, the same abundance of hysteria. Some people are wishy-washy and uncertain. I don't live that life. But certainly tempering some of my behavior would be beneficial. The universe has a way of working itself out.

Those of us with good self-image, high self-esteem, confidence and self-assurance trust our own judgment--maybe to a fault--more than others. And when we do that, when we allow our EGO to lead the way, we are Edging God Out. We must remember that the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. I'm neither mouse nor man, but I'm a pretty intelligent and focused woman who might--sometimes--deny others the opportunity to make effective decisions for themselves or in tandem with something we are working on. When you are the one who always has the answers, whose counsel do you seek? When you are resourceful, you are often given the short-end of the stick, but that does not mean you cannot build a fire. (mo'losophy) I have been fortunate to keep close a few individuals that I trust to make good decisions, but they trust me more, and offer little in the way of advice, preferring instead to allow me the chance to look within for the answers. And now I see. Because trust is more about yourself than it is about someone else. And maybe I'm learning that I'm not the only one I can trust....

Father's Day musings flashback

2011-06-19T08:20:00.000-04:00

My father...a personal examination

by MoMo Willy on Monday, January 12, 2009 at 9:41am

My father wasn't around growing up. He was as mysterious as the Bermuda Triangle. My mother never said anything bad about him, but nothing good either. We weren't even allowed to mention his name. My oldest brother told me he was Bruce Lee. I knew Bruce Lee was dead, so that was hard to swallow. He had a Chinese statue and said that our dad's spirit was in it. I was a kid who didn't believe in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny (wtf IS that??) but I believed that my dad was trapped in a wood carved souvenir.
I met my father when I was 17. He had been locked up most of my life. I had heard murmurs from my aunt, but that was the first confirmation. I didn't know how to react. He had hands small like mine and my brother. He was brown and had a very dry sense of humor. He was cool. The epitome of cool. I stayed with him the Summer of 2006 when I went up top for Harlem Book Fair. He told me stories about my mother as a kid (they were childhood sweethearts) that made me understand her much better, and stories about him that made me understand myself. He was the first person who told me I needed to stop burning...and it had made sense. Took it a few years to sink in though (Smile) Even though he had missed my entire childhood, the way he spoke was like he knew everything I had endured, everything that shaped me, and everything that could make me a better me. He was proud of my accomplishments and encouraging of my dreams.

Me, mom, Pops, and Kareem (shouts out to Jamaal, M.I.A.)

Since Pops wasn't around, my mom had remarried and gave us a new father figure. I had a step-dad who beat me every morning for not eating breakfast and every night at dinner. I got beaten for forging my mom's signature on my report card and failing my multiplication tables tests. I got beaten for not turning off the kettle fast enough when it whistled. I got beaten for throwing away a "Number 1 Dad" mug I bought for him for Xmas because I had just got a beaten. The rattle of a drawer still sends shivers up my spine as I brace for the beatings I used to receive as a child. But...My step-father combed my hair everyday, washed my clothes, taught me how to iron, had food prepared (even if I hid it in napkins) and curbed my television watching so that I could become an adult who reads, writes, and creates. He was consistent with his discipline, I never got a beaten for "no reason." And he was home every night. Let's celebrate the good fathers, the OK dads, and the ones who were at least there for us. No parent is perfect, but by constantly condemning them, we will never appreciate the good they did provide.

Seems we all know mothers, but how many fathers do we know? We can instill pride in our men by encouraging them to BE good fathers, showing them there ARE good fathers. It's up to us to be the change we want to see in the world. The revolution starts in the home.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part II

UPDATE: My fathers

by MoMo Willy on Monday, March 23, 2009 at 11:26am

I wasn't sure I wanted to post anything about this. Matter of fact, I was sure I wasn't. But in the interest of allowing my heart's pain heal another, I share this.

My step-father died this past week. A mutual friend called my mother and told her. She wasn't mad nor sad. He'd embezzled $36,000 from her in the early 90s. They'd divorced in 1992. He left that October, and I never saw him again. Never again. No phone call, nor visit. My mom didn't sell that house until 2006.

I never thought I would want a conversation with him until the opportunity was permanently stripped from me. I never got a chance to ask him about the way he was brought up and how that affected my upbringing. I never got to thank him for being a consistent disciplinarian, making sure that I knew the rules were not meant to be broken, that choices have consequences. I never got a chance to show him that I grew up to be a pretty cool adult, a lady someone could be proud of. That the token black is striving to become a warrior. That all the writing I did in my room was beneficial. That I have a little girl who's even awesomer than I am. I never got the chance, and I never will. He was cremated. My mother said they burned his body so that he could just blow like dust in the wind, like he never existed, his corpse not rotting in the ground because he wasn't good enough for the worms to nyaam (eat) out.

Today's my "real" father's birthday. I haven't seen him since I stayed with him summer of 2006 for Harlem Book Fair. We talked a few times after that, but then he stopped answering and returning my calls. He was going thru his own thing and didn't want to talk to anyone. As a compassionate, understanding soul, I can appreciate that. As a daughter without a father, my heart hurt.

I spoke with him this past winter when I was staying by my brother up top. He's down for the week and he wants to go visit Pops today. My mom said she'll come too. I'm apprehensive. I might have pics to post later (you know I love a photo op) but I'm not sure how I feel about the situation. Honestly. I wish I could say more on that. I really can't because I haven't processed it. I know ya'll are used to me having lots to say on everything, but ideas and philosophies, concepts and social issues I handle with ease and delight. Matters of the heart, hmm, not so much.

Let's hope for a beautiful day, full of love.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part III
Today (June 19, 2011)
I don't call my Father often. I always think on Sundays, I gotta go visit Daddy. And I don't. Because rejection is painful. It's better to think I'm rejecting him than to offer him an opportunity to reject me. So I keep moving. I think, maybe, I will call today. But I think a lot. The 1 minute phone call to the number that may or may not be working takes more energy than working out for 2 hours. Speaking of which, I need to add that to my routine. Workout, I mean. I think about it every morning and every night. But it seems like I'm closer to that physical pain more than this emotional one. Hmmm.

THE SHOW - The New. The Now. The Necessary.: The Show Launches 7.12.11

2011-06-05T02:07:00.000-04:00

THE SHOW - The New. The Now. The Necessary.: The Show Launches 7.12.11: "“THE SHOW” – Launches in South Florida Digital TV Market July 12, 2011 Ft. Lauderdale, FL – “THE SHOW – The New, The Now, & The Necessary..."

Crazy is as Crazy does.

2011-06-05T01:17:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I take for granted the fact that I have always known who I am and what I wanted to do. I've been called "crazy" for as long as I can remember, and people always used it as a term of endearment. I've always accepted it with a smile. The time I spent kinda confused about who I was, from 2008-2010, was the only time I heard it very seldom. Now that I'm back in the saddle, being me and enjoying me to the fullest, the phrase rears its pretty little head. And that's cool. One's crazy is another's genius.

I've always known what I wanted to be. Of course, that was not pinned down to any "one" thing. But of the laundry list, the number one thing I knew was that I was going to be a writer. Since early elementary school, I would rip up a kid's paper if they copied off my story or drawing in class because my creativity and self-expression were very important to me. I would go overboard on my writing assignments, writing extra small so I could fit as much in the parameters given. I journaled something serious, which allowed my brother to know all my business whenever he could get a hold of my notebooks. I knew that my self-expression was something special, that my voice was one that needed to be heard, that my thoughts and perspective were important and world changing.

Speaking of, I have wanted to take over the world as early as middle school. In high school, my dreams became very serious. I remember getting Iconoclast as a vocabulary word in 9th grade (Gifted English, loved that teacher), and my friends laughing because they knew that was me. I have always been someone who wanted to make changes politically and socially, tear down the old ways, rebuild it my way. (The momo manifesto is coming...). So I adopted that one. That same week, Megalomania was on the list. The joke was that I "thought" I was an iconoclast, but was really a megalomaniac. It went right along with me being "crazy," having the delusions of power and inflated self-esteem. (I've rarely had a self-confidence issue.) And that was cool, too. So I adopted that.

So I'm the one making the changes in the world, but I have delusions of power and inflated self-esteem. Who better to make the changes? I don't see someone who thinks small of themselves making changes. I know exactly what I was born to do, and I'm doing it. I guess that makes me crazy. Crazy is determined by whoever runs the asylum. Is that you? Because from where I'm standing, not being me is the craziest thing I could ever be.

World Takeover, Take 6. Action!

Perseverance

2011-05-05T13:23:00.000-04:00

Been working my ass off on my current project...details forthcoming...and feeling a little frustrated. Well, a lot frustrated. Might just be my menses influence, but it's not unreasonable to feel overwhelmed. I took a glance thru my poems because I appreciate my own counsel, and found this one I wrote in 2006. Enjoy!

Perseverance

Like pushing the cart with a wheel broken down the aisle
Like watching your dog run through the leaves set in a pile
It's frustrating
Like sitting down to eat your favorite pie without ice cream
Like fighting a girl twice your size and forgot your Vaseline
It's painful
Like Checkers chili fries on a late night tip
Like always leaving your waiter a bad tip
It hurts your belly
Like remembering which is a mammal, dolphins or manatees
Like doing crosswords in Mandarin or Cantonese
It pains your brain
Like having herpes and having to always say, I don't date much
Like not being careful and having six abortions in eight months.
It tears you up inside
It's when you're optimistic
Some say that's a sucker
You think things will go in your favor
But you coulda been luckier
You did the best you could
Better than your peers
But it's never enough for you
Failure is your greatest fear
And bigger people than you...
That label alone gets a choke...
Are doing about the same
So you can't dwell on being broke
Your time to shine
Will come in time
Just hold on tight
And get ready to ride
There's beauty in hard work
You stay humble, never a jerk
But if only the strong survive
Then you'll do this to stay alive
It's in your blood, every fiber of your being
So keep at it, persevere, and you'll receive everything...

If you want to own your own collection of my poetry, pick up a copy of The momowilly Experience hardcopy or for your Kindle!

Old school video "Ana Wrecks It"

2011-04-25T12:12:00.000-04:00

Since Google Video is no longer, they gave us an option to move them to youtube. I didn't remember I had this old ass video of me doing Ana Wrecks It, which is featured in my second book, The momowilly Experience. This is from about August of 2007. I was mad skinny.

Check it out and enjoy...or not. LOL

The hairy situation

2011-04-17T16:15:00.000-04:00

Hairy situation by momowilly

The uber-talented Stacey Muhammad recently posted a link to an article about the horrors of natural hair and a spirited conversation ensued. It made me think. Because I think a lot.

I'm not a "hair" girl. Some women love to do their hair every morning, love to try a new style, take pleasure in getting it done, ray-ray-ray. I'm not that one. I love clothes and makeup. I've always had more fun with that than hair, shoes, purses, or jewelry. I love hats, though. I have a great collection. Probably because I'm not a hair girl. When I was in school, the messier my hair was, the better. I always felt that was a great reflection of my personality. Plus I'm hair-lazy. Yes. Hair-lazy. I don't have enough upper-arm strength to deal with it all the time.

I used to rebel against my hair quite a bit as a youth. I cut my own bangs in sixth grade and basically tore out the middle of my head. I had a perm from 12 years old to 19. Then again from 21 to 23. None since then. I kept a Caesar (RIP) for three years, then bleached it and did some fun dumb stuff for a minute (Blues Clues) and then shaved it all off to grow it to its present state, rocking a lotta wigs during the "ugly" stage.

So now I have a full head of beautiful, virgin, natural hair that is absolutely adorable...and an absolute chore to take care of.

I could wax poetic about how it's so beautiful to maintain a natural crown in its Godly state. I could opine that my hair is exactly as nature intended, that I'm more glorious than ever because of it. I could sing the praises of my tresses, my 9-ether strands spiraling towards the heavens, connecting me with the Most High in the most celestial of manners. Sure, I could because all of that is true.

But it's hard to deal with and it's annoying.

Yes. It's true. It's annoying.

Ummm.. Yuck. I'll pass.

I hear--quite often--from Black girls with weaves how they would "do so much with it" if they had my hair. What would they do, ruin it? Put all the weave glue, dye, perm, paint, shellack, and floor varnish in it? My hair is healthy because I don't put any of that crap in it. It's growing long because I don't bother it. I water it and leave it alone.

The natural hair sistas will ask how long I've been growing it. I say since 10/07, they say it should be longer by now. I say I never knew we were running a race. It's not that big a deal to me. I don't have notches on my doorway to gauge the length. No. It's not that serious.

So why get the blow and flat iron, but no perm if my hair is soooo annoying and difficult? Well, first, I like the versatility. I get to look like Diana Ross at various stages of her career with this head of hair. Not that it's a goal, but it's pretty friggen awesome when I hear it! When I wear it out, it's so big, fluffy, and beautiful. Really makes a statement. I do think to dye it because I don't feel it's black enough. I want it super Black, like midnight during an eclipse kinda Black. Like Wesley Snipes on the pavement kinda Black. If I do it, I gotta make sure it's something that won't change the texture of my hair. I want to have more children in the future, and that means I won't poison my body every six weeks with any chemical foolishness. Because while my hair is SOOOOO annoying, I won't sacrifice it to the Revlon. I won't drown it in the Drano. (you DO know that relaxers have the same pH as Drano, right? Ok, moving on...).

I guess I'm supposed to say "I don't want to look like a white woman, I'm proud of my Blackness," but white people were not the first people on Earth, and certainly not the first to have straight hair. Plus, my peoples are Chinese so I'm getting in touch with my Asian roots (so to speak). And I like it when it flies in the wind. Honestly. I think it looks awesome. My daughter likes wearing her hair out sometimes and hers flies. She's Black, but her hair is straight. She's not any less Black because of it. We don't have those kind of identity issues.

No, I just have a big head of hair that's really thick, really "hard to manage" and I won't use any euphemisms to make it sound better. No one wakes up to do my hair every morning for me, so I can do whatever the hell I want with it. I can put it in pin curls to work so it won't fall, I can do the Pat Riley slickback ponytail, I can chop it all off in a second because summer's coming and the Caesar's calling. The rebellious child in me likes it messy the most. I can do whatever I want because I'm fly, just like every other woman with confidence. If you think that makes me a sell out, maybe you should evaluate your own hair issues. Not every Afro covers the head of a righteous radical soldier, and behind every perm is not a self-hating shrew. I'm just me, being me. Enjoy being you.

Finger 2 Da Gut

2011-04-16T14:01:00.000-04:00

Finger 2 Da Gut by momowilly

I'm a masturbation maven, quite the connosiuer. Yes. I can put it on my personal list of hobbies and activities, but I don't see it to have a place on the About Me sections of various social networks. It's a private thing, so people don't talk about it. So....let's talk about it. *warning* kinda graphic

I've been dillying and dallying regularly since I was about 8. It's always been a source of great comfort for me, even back then. A nice way to go to sleep.

Now, nearing 30, I'm still a private pussy player. It has nothing to do with my relationship status (which I wouldn't get into right here, anyway), but more to do with my own personal self-esteem and self-image. In times I am feeling myself, I like to feel myself. The times I am wallowing in self-pity, I'm not imagining anyone swallowing from kitty. For me, masturbation is a celebration of being me. Why would anyone want to be with me if EYE don't wanna be with me?

I have gone thru seasons where I was unattached and starved for some kielbasa, but instead of making the late night calls, I exhausted myself, manning my own ship. Nothing better than the gratification of getting a pressing project done on your own, using your own resources, so much better than to rely on another. Yes, I am like that in mannnnnnny ways.

When I wrote Neurotica, I was in a loveless, sexless relationship with this dude I lived with. We were friends who decided to be in a relationship, and that didn't work. It didn't work for 3 years. So I was throwing 2 fingers 2 da Gut for most of the time that I penned that classic work of erotica noir. The starving artist fed all of you.

I have experienced creative droughts where my Sahara was barren as well. I'm aware of the notion that emptying your juices is supposed to deplete your creative juices as well. I haven't found that to be the case for myself. I tried that way, and being backed up only made me ridiculously uptight and irritable.

So, what brought this topic up? A few friends of mine have been telling me of their insatiable appetite of late. I will add myself to that list. I read that on March 20, the Sun entered Bold Aries. I don't know too much about astrology, but it said that there would be a lot of energy and we should channel it into our projects. And, it's funny, that the past few weeks has been the most...energetic...for my friends and I. Sure, we have all been working on something of major importance, but this area has been demanding more of our attention.

I've always been Pro-Masturbation for the obvious reasons: it's safer, it's cleaner (yes, the alternative is messy and yucky) and a great way to get in touch with the inner you. But, right now, I'm advocating it because it's fun. And I think that's a great enough reason.

I wrote a piece in 2007 when I was *trying* to quit my favorite of activities. Check it out!

Used to throw two to the gut with a head lean
Give myself the finger more than Avril Lavigne
It may seem I was a feen for the digits in-between
But it's been a minute, the pro turned green

Shower time was fine, liked to lime for a few
Powered up, hype like each time there was new
Saved dimes for tools my interlude'd include
To set the mood, thoughts would move to a dude

I proved mind over matter with every stroke
Sweet words kinda flattered when it wasn't a joke
Relaxed into pattern like I just took a toke
Steady climbed the ladder on my thigh for the poke

Like coke. my addiction to the stick's in remission
Backbreaking like keeping your piss in
It's a pain, straining to refrain from this n'
Reminiscing is easier'n being participant

Some dudes I know use Hugh as their muse
Hef's playboy bunnies they wanna abuse
So their solo commute is more promo than booze
No thoughts bout ol' girl cute goin loose

But my boost comes now from avoiding the dig
Energies run out when each morning is big
A pig, I'd be glutton to keep boinking the kid
Focus on work and wardrobe, low-end to jig

On par with megastars from Lindsay Lohan to Jig
Stay backed up, an athlete, so scoring is big
No release of the grease from this sexual beast
Hand nearing the crease, right next to the piece n'

Cinders sweep over me like broom handles
Inner furnace, oily like Luke dancers
Soul burning smooth, my fragrant candles
Fingerless, world takeover I'll soon handle...

Sex and the Deity

2011-04-14T15:29:00.000-04:00

I've been reluctant to speak on the "Malcolm X had gay-pay-for-play sex" topic that has been crazy amongst my FB family, and also some real life family. But I'll share my thoughts here.

I love Malcolm X. I'm not too thrilled with El Hajj Malik Shabazz, though. I think that guy was a punk who should have kept his family's business to himself. I think he was a traitor to his Nation for fame and to feed his ego. I think he was a punk who could not take a reprimand like a man and sit down after defying explicit instructions. People will say that New Testament Malcolm was the righteous one, but those who say that he was right on to get from under Elijah Muhammad are always sharing the thoughts he expressed while he was a "puppet" of the Nation of Islam.

That said, I respect all the work he did, and if it weren't for a copy of Malcolm's speeches, I wouldn't have found the teachings of The Honorable Elijah Muhammad. I was more excited about the teacher than the wayward student. That's just me. (Well, maybe not...).

I showed my 10 year old daughter the Spike Lee historical fiction account of Malcolm's life a few months ago. I pressed play where he was in court. I told her that he was a wild boy, running the streets, and doing irresponsible things before that. I told her it didn't matter what those things were, because he was about to turn it all around. She enjoyed the film, save the ending, which I explained was inaccurate. She walked away from it knowing that Malcolm was a strong solider who loved Black people and wanted us to do for self.

So this widely respected scholar Manning Marable pens a book that discusses many aspects of Malcolm's life, including alleged gay prostitution and his being molested as a child. Now people in the Black community are up in arms about the "rumors." What makes them rumors? Is Malcolm the Supreme Being? Or was he simply a man, a rebellious, hurting man? Is it unreasonable to think that Malcolm would have engaged in those activities while hustling on the street? How many of us who turn our lives to God, Allah, Jah, whatever, have lived colorful lives? Who are we to assume that this is a lie? What do we gain from denying this? What do we lose for believing it? Maybe we should look at the skeletons in our own closets and ask ourselves if those define us, and how. Certainly, for how long...

Beauty or a Beast?

2011-04-07T00:06:00.001-04:00

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder...but act ugly and nobody'll be holding ya. -mo'losophy

Heavy D coulda talk to me any day!

What defines beauty to you? I used to be a chubby chaser, a fat boy could holla at me quicker than a slim boy. Experience helped me outgrow that for several reasons I won't go into here.
What makes someone attractive? I consider myself attractive, and not just because I have mile long legs, piercing black marbles for eyes, or a fantastic head shape that accommodates any hairstyle. No, that's not what makes me attractive, but it certainly doesn't hurt. I think of myself as attractive because I am a positive, upbeat, energetic person. (Maybe the energy is one reason fat boys are off my list...). This positive energy has kept me from going insane on more than a few occasions. It has brought wonderful people to me my whole life. And it keeps me up at night, quite consistently, working hard for myself and others. So I would say my boundless energy is my most attractive feature, forgetting about the absolutely adorable fingers and brilliant crooked smile. Yes, these pale in comparison to my energy.

NOT a a "good-looking" kid. But I was always popular,
so I guess that made me attractive.

Now, there are people who don't feel so attractive. They pick on a particular characteristic and wail about its imperfection ad nauseum. I could do that myself. I'm sure people would get tired of hearing me whine about the road map etched on my belly from the over 90 lbs I gained with my lil one. Or the extremely non-existant rear end that causes me great discomfort when sitting for long periods. Or the aforementioned crooked smile. I could talk about my flat foot that couldn't get an arch from the Romans. Even the ears that are so small they resemble small bullet holes in the side of my head. Sure, I could bemoan these things on the daily. But why? Am I not greater than the sum of my parts? Should not everyone feel the same?

Gabrielle Union said she hates her nose.
Yeah. Because that's what people are noticing.

We all have imperfections and they build character. While I too can get stuck in the "OMG, I need to put on weight," mode, or the "Damn, some situps wouldn't hurt" frame of mind, I'm happy to put more work on my interior than putting extreme focus on my "inferior" exterior. After all, cosmetic surgery does not make your eulogy any better...

I think Alek Wek is goooorrrr-gusss! True beauty!

Friends...how many of us have them?

2011-04-04T16:08:00.000-04:00

Sometimes good friends become old friends and new friends become best friends. As we grow and learn more about ourselves, our habits and interests may change as will our company, assuming they are not on the same path. Does that mean we are "acting funny" or are we growing up? I suppose adults don't use phrases like acting funny or "flaw" (as opposed to flawed). When do you let go and who do you embrace? For how long? Familiarity breeds contempt, and our closest friends are often our worst enemies. Friends are supposed to stick by you through thick and thin, highs and lows, feasts and famines. No one wants a fair-weather friend, but how can your sun shine amongst the darkest clouds? How do you rise when you are weighed down by negativity? Do the successful worry about acting funny? Do they think about being a switch-out? People only say you're acting brand new when they feel like old shoes...

I've been told that my friendship has too many rules. I don't take umbrage to that. I'm not an easy friend. I will not laugh when you tell me how you cheated on your man. I won't stay quiet when I hear you ordering McDonald's for you and the kids three days in a row. I won't let you make excuses for why you can't find a job. I'm not that one. I can be domineering, controlling, and demanding as a friend. I have high expectations of those closest to me and it's frustrating and painful to see any of them self-destructing without stepping in and trying to save them. Even when I have a falling out with my friends, I don't wish them ill. My heart truly wants them to do better in our absence, be as productive, positive, and successful as I know they can be. Certainly, everyone I know expects much from me, and that only keeps me going strong. People should not be angry when others expect much, they should feel disappointed when loved ones expect very little.

All of that said, I only have one child. I am not everyone's mother. It's not fair to grown folk that I put my demands on them. I have ruined some solid friendships because of my frustration, impatience, and pushiness. I've ruined others because of my frustration with myself for not being as available as I wanted to be. But I'm not a Miracle Worker. And people are still living, with or without me and my mania. I'm working on being *less* controlling, less insistent, more patient, more loving without the toughness. I always give a lot of hugs, but maybe because I hold on so tight in other ways...

For more of my musings on Friendship, check out Mo'losophy. Served up in bite-sized portions! :)

Foodie loves to eat

2011-04-03T13:03:00.000-04:00

Food is very important to me. I'm slim, so I have always felt like I could eat whatever I want, whatever portion and it was ok. Back in the days, my homegirl and I used to call ourselves Restaurant Tetes, because we LOVED going out to eat. Taking our last dollars to go Red Lobster, Olive Garden, or Macaroni Grille and enjoying the pleasures of people serving us food. Yeah, those were the days. It would be several times a week, and my lil pocket couldn't afford it, but I'd rather buy food than clothes (yes, that's true!)

Now that I'm older, I am not as enamored with the cuisines prepared by strange hands. No. It does not interest me like it did once. That's not to say I don't eat out, just that I'm considerably more particular about where I dine. Like, fast food places are OUT. You won't catch me at a McD's, BK, or Pollo (*ugh, blech, yuck, eww*). Fast food is awful. Ummm..except for Chic-fi-let. They have some kind of hold on me that I can't understand (MSG maybe?) But that's the only one. Hey, I'm not perfect.

As far as restaurants go, the wannabe fine dining of the venues I used to enjoy are crossed off. Unless someone wants to have a business lunch (I'm accommodating), I will NOT go to Applebee's, Chili's, Olive Garden, Macaroni Grill, Bennigans, or Red Lobster. No, no, and no. Sometimes Cheesecake gets a yes, though. Yes, I'm not perfect.

Now, what I might do is eat at a small establishment. One where you can say hello to the chef. My parents are Jamaican, so I enjoy West Indian food. But I don't eat street curry. I don't like how people will boil it out and make it like a curry chicken soup. And then they add cold water so you see the oil bubbles separate from the water. *UGH* I don't generally eat brown stew chicken from strange places either for the same reason. Some places, if I'm in a daring mood, get a pass, after I've peered real hard thru the glass and determined it's worthiness.

You're probably like, I must think I'm a great cook. Well, I love to cook. I may not be a pro, but I enjoy feeding people and more than a few have enjoyed their meals, gone home with food, or asked me to make them something again. People at my job love my chicken wings. Cooking more means that less of those strangers foods outta road are appetizing. I realize that when I wasn't cooking for myself, the pleasures of their food was more than the taste, more than the experience of dining out. The true pleasure was in NOT having to be the one to prepare the food, i.e. laziness. This is why most people eat out, because they're lazy. They say it's because it's convenient, but they do not fit in the time to cook a good meal.

I hear single mothers complain that after they come home from a long day at work with the kids, have to check homework, bathe 'em, put 'em to bed, and still get some RHOA time in, they don't have time to cook. Ok. I will go with that. But what about those hours in the early morning? If you come home and only have to warm food that you made in the morning, you have plenty of time to spend with the lil ones. And your evening can be the time you clean and season your meats, cut your veggies, prepare your salad, soak your peas, whatever. And you can let Basketball Wives play in the background, because you're not in a rush, having already eaten a tasty dinner you were smart enough to throw in the oven in the early morning.

No one is perfect, but certainly your family's health is worth making adjustments. Trust me, I know. Nothing used to taste better than those cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster. But when you learn more about what's good for you, and what they are doing to your food to harm you, you will want to be proactive. And it does not have to be overwhelming. I don't eat pork (or skunk or reptile), but I still eat the chickens, the turkeys, and the fishes. Sure, maybe I'll go vegetarian, maybe even vegan (after I get over my cheese obsession), but that has to come in degrees.

Take a look at your pantry and see how much food is for preparation, and how much is already done. Make a few changes. You and your family are worth it. My 10 year old makes us turkey bacon and waffles with tea for breakfast. Every morning. Show them and they can do it too!

Anyways, I got some salmon to cook before I leave the house. I'm not gonna be home til after 6, and I don't want to have to cook when I get home. I seasoned it last night. See how that works out? :)

The Wonderful World of MoMo Willy features me eating out...a lot. Check out one of my faves, featuring a shout out from Paul Mooney. "Harlem Shake"

www.itsmomowilly.com

The quiet space...

2011-04-02T10:59:00.000-04:00

Where is your quiet space...?

I have been writing most of my life. When I was 8, this is what I knew I wanted to do. I would hurry to do my chores so I could have my uninterrupted writing time. I would skip the lunchroom drama in high school and go to my favorite teacher's classes to write and type out my work (because it's FREEEEEE paper!!!!). I keep my gmail docs updated so I always have access to the files I need. Because writing is my "quiet space." That's where I go when the voices in my head start arguing, when they get to be too much. And the quiet space gets them to sort out. I guess, really, the quiet space gets me to sort out. ;)

Some people meditate. I have a difficult time doing that. An extremely difficult time. Like excruciatingly difficult. Maybe if I was in school, they'd call it ADHD and prescribe Ritalin (which is verrry wicked! Don't let them drug your children!!!). HOW can you sit and not do anything, clear your mind, for even 5 minutes? I have NO idea how to do this. Clear my mind??? I don't even know what that means!

Even to go to sleep, I have to exhaust myself because otherwise my mind keeps going. When I wake, my mind is going. How do I find the "quiet space" otherwise? In the past, I used...herbal assistance...to help to quiet the mind. And I will say it worked. It worked so well that I never dreamed anymore, and there's nothing worse than not being in touch with your subconscious. So how do I do it without that kind of help? What do you do?

In personal development, we can get frustrated and find ways to justify our inadequacies instead of dealing with them head on. I am pretty good at that ;) but definitely tired of putting bandaids on the broken leg.

Below is a piece I wrote in 2007 germain to this topic. Check out The momowilly Experience for more, if you like this one. Thanks.

Hereditary Insanity
When half the people in your family are crazy
It makes you run and find a blunt, getting hazy
To avoid the maze of thoughts zigzagging ya head
Several voices melt together, blue, purple and red
I listen to them all, my village of individuals
They represent different aspects of my spiritual
Like sitting at kitchen tables, dinner with the kinfolk
A meeting of minds, if you will, with picture window
Each cranial component contributes to the collective
The ideas of inspiration comes from the introspective
Digging into my deepest dungeons, the darkest den
They sitting and politicking so I can focus in
When decisions seem impossible and creativity lost
The voices in my head pick a particular to play boss
I let them run my life, none of the voices are so evil
Won’t destroy the cotton in my ear like boll weevil
Or let me do something that I will regret in my lifetime
Strangers call me crazy, but I only see the sunshine
I’ve never been known as one who follows the pack
So I’ll stay insane. Some nuts and bolts I’ll lack...

www.itsmomowilly.com

Neurotica: The Remix

2011-04-01T07:28:00.000-04:00

Sooooo,

I have been selling books out of my trunk, my Mobile Office, and Neurotica is always disappearing the fastest. People may initially come to the trunk because of Mo'losophy, get excited about a beautiful book full of inspirational quotes and sound advice, but they wanna leave with the sexy, dirty, funny book. Certainly, they often both sell together, but I just think it's funny at the attention it gets. Then when people finish it, or even during the journey, I'm getting calls and emails about how "crazy" I am, or how they "can't believe" I wrote it. It's gonna be something else when the Remix book comes out. The 10 extra stories are kinda scary and very hilarious.

I remember when it first came out and I got a lot of "Are these based on your personal experiences?" And here the questions come again, with the same raised eyebrow. I think it's very amusing. I wasn't always a prude, all ultra-conservative. I'm pretty much not now, but I suppose that's how people see me because I focus on promoting good decision-making, masturbation, and celibacy for self-improvement. But at the end of the day, I'm a woman. I like to think I'm a sexy woman ;) and I am enjoying my life. But we should all enjoy our lives in the safest manner possible. Neurotica promotes responsible sex without preaching. I wasn't always so in your face preachy and teachy, handling things with more humor and compassion. Hmmm. Maybe my first book is still teaching me lessons, years later....

Read 3 full chapters of Neurotica for Free!

Getting back in the swing of things!

2011-03-29T17:04:00.000-04:00

Soooo....

I'm aware that I've been...incognito...for some time. Life will do that. Deactivated the FB a few times, turned my phone off more than usual, and stopped responding to emails. And that's healthy. Because when you let the electronic leashes permabond, you end up being a robot. And that I'm not. Taking time off is the best way to remember how much you love to work. To strengthen ourselves we must step back, evaluate our time spent, and fine tune accordingly. I have more than a few projects sitting on my laptop waiting for review, edit, execution, etc. There is one project in particular I'm itching to get moving on but timing is key. Yes, timing is key. Anyone can make things happen by themselves, but when you have a team of people that are stronger than you in various areas, your projects have a better chance of flourishing. And what I have in store for the world is too grand to be half-assed because I'm impatient and hesitant to delegate.

So you're wondering wth projects I'm talking about, eh? Yeah, I'm almost always vague about my work. I enjoy speaking in riddles. But I'll be straight with you because you support me. And I appreciate you.

1. I just found out I was Black.
This is an 8 minute film narrated in rhyme. And it's dope. Pre-production halted for a minute, but we're getting back into it. This is my baby. She makes me happy :)

2. The Oreo Chronicles: The Misadventures of Awesome Blossom
I have a young adult novel I've been working on for some time, (very) loosely based on my childhood. It's hilarious. It will debut as a serial blog. It's *not* the cookie cutter stuff your children are used to. As a matter of fact, you probably won't want them reading it. And that's what makes it so phenomenal. I previewed it with some pre-teens and they absolutely loved it. That's coming in August. Stay tuned.

3. The Wonderful World of MoMo Willy
Yeah, the show was pretty cool on Youtube. So cool that we're bringing it back, bigger, better and brighter on digital TV! Everyone knows me as a tastemaker and trendsetter, and we're gonna be doing it on a larger scale. My team is still fleshing this out, but if it goes how it's supposed to, South Florida will be the star of this show and greatly benefit from the mania of MoMo Willy.

4. Neurotica: The Remix
The re-release of my first book, Neurotica: An honest examination into urban sexual relations. This one is gonna have 10 extra stories that were deemed too hot, too controversial for the first edition. It's going to be really amazing. Also, the book will be available on iTunes, because hearing me read them is half the fun!

5. Two-Faced Ladies
I am nearly finished writing an all women's play that examines different sides of various topics through interesting soliloquies. In the vein of For Colored Girls...not Tyler Perry's ;) It's really funny, sad, poignant, inspirational, and heartfelt.

6. Black Hue-Moor
A skit show in the vein of Chappelle's show and In Living Color. It's pretty dirty, funny, and full of Black power!

I have a lot more stuff, like two other YA books, a self-help manual, a spoken word CD but they're on the backburner. I wanted to share with you the current and soon-to-be completed projects.

I'm really looking forward to working with good people, smart people, reliable people, being productive and profitable in all endeavors! Contact me if you're interested in working together! Allah is the greatest!

New Stuff!

2011-03-28T16:50:00.001-04:00

MoMo Willy is going digital! Stay tuned!

Listen to the archived episodes of "The Experience"

2009-07-17T12:41:00.000-04:00

Award-winning author/poet momowilly offers her quirky, no-nonsense method of engaging conversation with poetry and philosophy in her trademark honest and hilarious way. This interactive show combines news, real talk, and a variety of guests including poets, authors, emcees, and community activists. Experience momowilly today!

"The Experience" features award-winning author and poet momowilly with her unique brand of humor and straight talk. The famed tastemaker is always looking for new flavors of the month and chucking those that leave a bad taste in her mouth. Listen as she interviews incredible guests like poets, authors, emcees, and community activists. The hour archives are fast-paced and entertaining, leaving you wanting more. With topics ranging from community service to poetry, fashion to romance, hip hop to childcare, momowilly promotes love for self in every aspect. It's like weekly therapy without the heavy pricetag. Be sure to Experience what everyone's talking about. "The Experience with momowilly" every Thursday at 11am EST.

momowilly on Lee Pitts Live!

2009-07-17T12:12:00.000-04:00

Nationally renowned poetic actress, and philosopher momowilly will be the featured guest this week on Lee Pitts Live.

momowilly will discuss her new book The momowilly Experience. The famed writer will also introduce us to her new radio show which can be heard on line, on Blogtalkradio.

“momowilly has clearly established herself at the top amongst the new generation of writers. Her work is full of life and realism. I look forward to introducing her to Southwest Florida,” states Lee Pitts, host and executive producer of the show. For more on momowilly, visit www.itsmomowilly.com .

The show will broadcast on Comcast Saturday July 18th at 9:30 a.m. on channel 8 and Sunday June 19th at 6:30 p.m. on channel 14. For more or to advertise, visit www.leepittslive.com or call (877) 830-0391.

Lee Pitts Live is the longest running television talk show in Southwest Florida. It is a five- time recipient of the NAACP Image Award, recipient of the Hodges University Diversity Excellence Award, and recipient of the Southwest Florida Peoples’ Choice Award. Lee Pitts is host and executive producer of the award winning show.

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2009-07-14T11:54:00.001-04:00

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2009-07-09T11:13:00.000-04:00

"Momo is what Momo says, all original content and delivery right up in your face, whether you like it or not. And the fast-paced bluntness of it all may smack you upside the head with a cold, wet hand and make you say, "Damn, no she didn't!" Yes she did, too."

~Omar Tyree, NY Times Bestselling Author

Award-winning poet ("The Real"), author (Neurotica: An honest examination into urban sexual relations), and spoken artist momowilly releases her long-awaited debut compilation of poetry entitled The momowilly Experience. Chronicling intense periods in her life, The momowilly Experience offers insight into the poetic phenom through three distinct sections: Education, Ego, and Emotions. The usually blunt and brash poet shares a strong assortment of work for each theme using her unmatched sense of humor and ferocity, captivating the reader with her offbeat yet relatable approach to life's quagmires.

Kicking it off with the Education section, momowilly's famed socio-political voice sounds off confronting issues such as abortion, racism, immigration and AIDS with undeniable observations and her unique line of evocative questioning. The Ego portion personalizes messages of confidence, entertains with self-deprecation, and provides words of encouragement for those in battle with the man in the mirror. Emotions wraps it up with a very intimate collection of momowilly's own personal insecurities, showcasing an unexpected vulnerability and tenderness.

The momowilly Experience confirms momowilly as a prominent force in poetry. As a woman, philosopher and humorist, momowilly does more with one collection of poetry than many do in a lifetime. And she's only just begun.

My first entry!

2005-08-18T15:58:00.000-04:00

Hi all!
The current state of black fiction is deplorable.