How to Survive Ho Season

Even the best women have times in their life where their judgment is less than stellar. Sometimes desire, pain, and frustration culminate in what is called Ho Season.  This is a timeless tradition that women will only share with their closest friends, if any at all. Read on and see if Ho Season's in session.  

Why is it called Ho Season? What might one do during Ho Season?

As indicated by the name, this is a time a woman is a Ho, or engages in Ho activities. She might sleep with several men a week, or some in a day. She might sell her body for money or drugs, where she goes from Ho to Whore.  She may start sleeping with her friend's boyfriend, brother's friends, distant cousin, or somebody else extremely inappropriate.  Other names/terms include wilding out, running around, dating, playing the field, doing me,  having fun until I'm ready to settle down, getting mine, etc. These euphemisms are all aimed to make a woman feel better about being promiscuous because she knows if she admits it, she'll be ashamed. She doesn't want to be ashamed. She shouldn't be, if she is honest with herself.  Own it. Say "Yes, I'm going thru Ho Season, but it won't last forever." Or, don't actively participate in Ho Season and let it pass. Some kids go away during the Summer...

Ho Season in full effect! Who want some?

What brings on Ho Season?

The specific Ho Seasons vary from woman to woman.  For some it comes during puberty with the onslaught of new attention and influx of hormones.  For other women, it happens after every breakup. It can occur during a particularly rough patch in a relationship. It might take place when the kids move to Gramma's house out of state or across town. Of course it hits hard when Jarrell joins the service or Pookie gets locked up. Again, Ho Season is determined by the woman's internal climate. Her emotional health plays a key factor in determining Ho Season's beginning and eventual end. 

Do people have Ho Seasons in tandem?

Sometimes friends who are going thru relationship issues will go thru Ho Season together. This results in a lot of fun, drunken episodes posted all over Facebook to make exes think they are having a good time. Really, its just an embarrassing admission of Ho Season. Everyone knows better.  

Sometimes Ho Season comes about when Mercury's in Retrograde. This is a crazy time for all. 

What tools are necessary to get thru Ho Season unscathed?

There are good ways to be bad, right ways to do wrong. If you're going thru Ho Season there are precautions you can take to make it easier on yourself.  Below are some tips on fighting the urges or giving in without giving away all your pride, dignity and self-respect.

Loving yourself is the key to surviving Ho Season!

Become more physically active. Take up a sport, go to the gym more often. Get out that energy the right way. And when you start to look better and feel better, you won't be so quick to give away the pums to every man who sneezes.

Meditate. Clear your mind and recenter your energy.  It is also a great way to get to sleep when you're antsy in your panties. 

Go to a house of worship.  Churches are good for the hootin' and hollerin' and carrying on. You can even pretend to catch the holy spirit, throw a tantrum in front of everyone and flail around and it'll be looked at as normal. What a great workout and release!

Go see a therapist.  Talk to a stranger about the problems you're having that are making you want to anesthetisize with sex. Therapy isn't expensive and is always worth it if you're willing to work it. 

Read more.  Turn your attention to learning something, empower yourself with knowledge.  You can even just read for leisure and escape the reality that is boxing you into Ho Season. 

Change your diet and stop eating libidio motivating foods.  Cut out junk, fast food, greasy and fried, and white sugar.  Eat healthier overall, but there are still healthy foods to avoid during Ho Season like avocado, celery, bananas, oysters, nuts, mangoes, peaches, strawberries, and chocolate. Well, maybe a chocolate covered strawberry here and there won't hurt ;) 

Film yourself for fun!

• Masturbate more.  This is the safest and cleanest way to soothe the savage beast.  Get in touch with the real you. Enjoy the splendor of yourself, every square inch and cherish your body.  Set up your camera and take pictures or film yourself. Open a separate user account on your computer and stash all your home-maders there so no one will see them and you can enjoy watching yourself. Have a chocolate covered strawberry for dessert and it's a party!  When you see how special your body really is, you won't want any creeps putting their grubby paws all over you. Embrace all of you, inside and out.
• But....don't watch any strange "blue movies." The adult films make the temperature rise very high in Ho Season. Those trains will start looking amazing, you'll wish you had one of those weird robot machine drills, and you'll be wildly intrigued by the fun tricks your body can't do, eager to show off with someone. Uh-uh honey. No.  
• If you have to have some fleshy man-sticks shoved deep in your vaginal cavity, limit the amount of men you are interacting with to just one. He doesn't have to be "your man" because he's the only one you're sleeping with. Don't spread yourself too thin. Well, don't spread your legs so wide. Either way, be prudent in your non prudish behavior.
• Again, if you've decided you need to have hot sausage in your oven, avoid married men. The biggest problem with Ho Season is the unclear end, like Indian Summer. This is the time when Hos in Ho Season don't even realize it's over and start longing for a relationship, looking to the fellow they are spending the best time with. If it's someone's husband, you have a new problem on your hand.
• And, if you need to feel thick, hard, curved penis in your orifice and deep in your esophagus, always, always, always  use protection. Because all they really wanna do is give you AIDS and Babies. 

Above all, use Ho Season as a catalyst for getting to know yourself better. Evaluate why you are sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, or just plain horny. There are always underlying reasons for Ho Season.  Get to the bottom of wanting to be bottoms up and you'll find what is missing in your cup. 


There is no passing judgment on Ho Season.  It is perfectly understandable. But just as most places experience Summer only 25% of the year, do not live like you're in Miami and enjoy an all year Season of Ho-ness.  

What are your thoughts? How did you get thru your Ho Season? Share this with a friend who has been spending too much time vacationing in her Ho Season.