I just turned 30 on Wednesday, June 29, 2011. Of course, as usual, I pondered on how my life has changed in the year(s). This year, however, I pondered with less frustration and more optimism, less criticism and more empathy. Historically, I am neurotic, high-strung, obsessive, dramatic, hysterical, manic, aggressive and good ol' fashioned crazy. For the most part, I enjoy those aspects of my personality, viewing them as offshoots of passion, intensity, focus, drive, and ambition. However, I am learning that not everything requires the same level of intensity, the same abundance of hysteria. Some people are wishy-washy and uncertain. I don't live that life. But certainly tempering some of my behavior would be beneficial. The universe has a way of working itself out.
Those of us with good self-image, high self-esteem, confidence and self-assurance trust our own judgment--maybe to a fault--more than others. And when we do that, when we allow our EGO to lead the way, we are Edging God Out. We must remember that the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. I'm neither mouse nor man, but I'm a pretty intelligent and focused woman who might--sometimes--deny others the opportunity to make effective decisions for themselves or in tandem with something we are working on. When you are the one who always has the answers, whose counsel do you seek? When you are resourceful, you are often given the short-end of the stick, but that does not mean you cannot build a fire. (mo'losophy) I have been fortunate to keep close a few individuals that I trust to make good decisions, but they trust me more, and offer little in the way of advice, preferring instead to allow me the chance to look within for the answers. And now I see. Because trust is more about yourself than it is about someone else. And maybe I'm learning that I'm not the only one I can trust....
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